Things I like:

The number of dogs is wonderful because anyone who’s slept with dogs knows it feels like there are 600 there.

We immediately know the author identifies with the dogs because she wants more teeth and admires theirs.

The “doggy poos” and “doggy dumps” are nicely done, not using the word for crap twice and making crap seem kinda cute.

“... and read The Wall Street Journal, back to front. I then use it to wipe, front to back. My wild dogs respect that I can read — a main reason I lead the pack.” Delightful!

“I am the best at hide and seek, another reason why I lead the pack. I climb into the same tree hole and sit there for hours, eating honey from a nearby bee hive with my finger.” Love this example of why the author is a badass.

“...but really I just need my 10,000 steps.” Love this teasing of the fitness tracker craze, and “a soup and salad combo” as another example of humans trying to be healthy.

Things I would do differently:

Something about shitting in the tin bucket didn’t seem right to me. I would make it more human, a composting toilet, a porta-potty, or a bedside commode.

“...so I kneel down and perform the entire plastic cup routine from Pitch Perfect.” I may be the only person with Netflix in North America who has never seen Pitch Perfect so I had to look up the cup routine. I like the over-the-top picture this gives us but it took me out of the story for a few minutes.

“My 600 wild dogs eat their fill in record time. I have about 30 minutes left on my buffalo that’s rotating on a spit over a fire. It will be a perfect medium — that’s a warm pink center.” Bravo on sneaking the word “medium” in here if you did it on purpose. ;-) I would put one line moving the reader from the dogs eating to the buffalo cooking. Example:

“My 600 wild dogs eat their fill in record time and bring me a prime piece to roast. I have about 30 minutes left on the brisket my buffalo that’s rotating on a spit over a fire. It will be a perfect medium — that’s a warm pink center.